The Anatomy of Adultery from A Man and His Marriage material:
- Unintentional neglect of each other in your marriage. Both the friendship, and the physical intimacy begin to wane.
- Someone of the opposite sex is really kind to you. They notices you, compliments you, affirms you, and you feel respected.
- The compliment turns into a conversation. Maybe a lunch together. Your time feels good and is meeting a need.
- Emotional Investment. You find yourself attracted and begin sharing your heart with them. You start laughing and sharing secrets together. You begin justifying the relationship to yourself.
- Ongoing Contact. You exchange contact information and begin staying connected, calling, texting, or messaging each other. You begin convincing yourself that things would be better with them than with your spouse.
- False Reality. Seeing them only when they’re at her best, you fail to realize your view of them is skewed. Because you’re acting alone, you don’t have any trusted friends who can help bring you back to reality. Adulterous relationships are void of responsibilities; they are Satan’s deception to destroy the first institution that God created … the family.
- Physical Intimacy. The emotional connection becomes physical intimacy. It starts with a hug, or kiss, and quickly escalates to destructive behavior.
Some of you are at step #3 and feel a little guilty, but you’ve convinced yourself everything is ok. Some of you are at step #5 and know that it’s only a matter of weeks or even days before you’re full-steam ahead with an adulterous relationship. Wherever you are on that list, do the following (by God’s grace):
- RUN! … simply put, run from immorality, as it wants to destroy every facet of who you are.
- Go and find a more spiritually mature person (man to man, woman to woman). Share what’s going on and ask for time to regularly meet to walk through the “why” and “how” you came to be where you are.
- Cling to the forgiveness that is found in Jesus and walk in the power of the gospel that enables you, through the work/person of King Jesus to actually fulfill what He asks of you in the word.
There is much more you can be doing but these should be your first initial steps.