Adultery doesn’t just happen. More often than not, there’s a slow drip of relational disconnectedness and over months and years, the drip becomes a cascade of deep, relational conflict culminating in the decision to commit adultery. A Christian needs to be aware of the chain of events that often leads to adultery and realize that this chain must be broken at its earliest link (see Proverbs 17:14, 1 Peter 5:8).
- Neglect. Unintentional neglect of each other in your marriage. Both the friendship & physical intimacy begin to wane.
- Affirmation. Someone of the opposite sex is really kind to you. She/he notices you, compliments you, affirms you & you feel respected.
- Enjoyment. The compliment turns into a conversation. Maybe a lunch together. Your time feels good and is meeting a need.
- Emotional investment. You find yourself attracted and begin sharing your heart with someone else. You start laughing and sharing secrets together. You begin justifying the relationship to yourself.
- Ongoing contact. You exchange contact information and begin staying connected, calling, texting, or messaging each other. You begin convincing yourself that things would be better with them than your spous.
- False reality. Seeing her or him only when they’re at their best; you fail to realize your view of your spous is skewed. Because you’re acting alone, you don’t have any trusted friends who can help bring you back to reality. Adulterous relationships are void of responsibilities; they are Satan’s deception to destroy the first institution that God created…the family.
- Physical intimacy. The emotional connection becomes physical intimacy. It starts with a hug, or kiss, and quickly escalates to destructive behavior.
Adapted from an article that was written by Dr. Wayne Mack.