The Anatomy of Adultery

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  1. Neglect. Unintentional neglect of each other in your marriage. Both the friendship & physical intimacy begin to wane.

  2. Affirmation. Someone of the opposite sex is really kind to you. She notices you, compliments you, affirms you & you feel respected.

  3. Enjoyment. The compliment turns into a conversation. Maybe a lunch together. Your time feels good and is meeting a need.

  4. Emotional Investment. You find yourself attracted and begin sharing your heart with her. You start laughing and sharing secrets together. You begin justifying the relationship to yourself.

  5. Ongoing Contact. You exchange contact information and begin staying connected, calling, texting, or messaging each other. You begin convincing yourself that things would be better with her than your wife.

  6. False Reality. Seeing her only when she’s at her best, you fail to realize your view of her is skewed. Because you’re acting alone, you don’t have any trusted friends who can help bring you back to reality. Adulterous relationships are void of responsibilities; they are Satan’s deception to destroy the first institution that God created…the family.

  7. Physical Intimacy. The emotional connection becomes physical intimacy. It starts with a hug, or kiss, and quickly escalates to destructive behavior.


2 thoughts on “The Anatomy of Adultery

  1. All these are outward-appearing symptoms (the body), not the anatomy (the heart). Lust (adultery in the heart) and lack of repentance (forgiveness through Christ for sin) is behind each step and only love of God through Jesus Christ can change. Someone reading this post may believe that by avoiding these 7 symptoms, they can avoid adultery; this is not true.

    • Brooks, thanks for commenting.

      You’re right, simply avoiding the things listed does not guarantee you will not commit adultery. So, no disagreement about the heart issue.

      However, the word anatomy does not merely reference “heart.” That’s a narrow use of the word and isn’t demanded by its popular usage. The word describes the larger structure of the body. Here, the “body” imagery is tied to the “body” of adultery. Used in the sense of paying attention to structures, the idea is to look at certain things that often characterize the “structure” of adultery.

      The post rightly points to certain structural issues in one’s life that often lead to sinful actions.

      Thanks for stopping by.

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