Confrontation does not force a person to deal with you, but places them before the Lord.

Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands

A confrontation or rebuke is actually a good thing and all of us need to be confronted and rebuked from time to time. Tripp lays out several truths regarding biblical confrontation that are very helpful.

  • Confrontation is rooted in a submission to the First Commandment. “A reliable indicator of our love for God is the quality of our love for our neighbor…confrontation has little to do with us. It is all about the Lord, motivated by a desire to draw people back into close, obedient, and loving communion with him” (201).
  • Confrontation is rooted in the Second Commandment. When we fail to confront it’s not because we don’t love people but we love ourselves too much.
  • Confrontation is our moral responsibility in every relationship.
  • Confrontation is meant to be more of a lifestyle than an unusual event. We need to model having honest, transparent conversation with one another or else when a rebuke or confrontation happens it will seem completely out place, when in reality, this should be a normal characteristic of Christian relationships.
  • We fail to confront in love because we have yielded to subtle and passive forms of hatred. We do this through favoritism or holding grudges, which is an incipient form of hatred where we set up standards in our own minds or we keep a record of wrongs committed.
  • We fail to confront because we have yielded to more active forms of hatred.
  • Confrontation flows out of a recognition of our identity as the children of God.
  • Proper biblical confrontation is never motivated by impatience, frustration, hurt, or anger.
  • Confrontation does not force a person to deal with you, but places him before the Lord.

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