Pornography vs. Marriage

In his book Sexual Detox: A Guide for Guys Who Are Sick of Porn Challies rightly assumes that young men have already had exposure to pornography.  His rationale is that pornography is just too accessible for a man not to indulge in some capacity at some point in his life; this truth has the potential to bring great harm and tragedy to a marriage. For instance, pornography “has unique power to damage a marriage because it is ultimately about self, not union. Indulging in pornography is a form of psychological isolation, a withdrawal into a tiny world of self-gratification” (26).

With regards to pornography and marriage, many young men falsely believe that their struggles with pornography or masturbation will be immediately solved once they get married. However, “sin is almost certainly lying dormant, crouching at the door, awaiting an opportune moment. It may take weeks or months or even years. But sooner or later it will rear its ugly head once again. It may have happen when your wife travels for a few days or when you find yourself alone in a hotel room in a strange city” (28).

Why is this? Simply put – the outward struggle is a manifestation of the inner struggle. As Jesus said in Matthew 5:18-20, “what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defiles a person.” Thus, there must be a spiritual replacement; “as in all matters of spiritual growth, you need to replace lies with truth, and an unholy practice with a holy one” (29).

So what’s the solution you’re asking? The solution to “getting free and staying free are different things but they involve the same process: repentance, putting off the old, and putting on the new. You need to practice all three, on a regular basis, for the rest of your life” (30).