Recently, another pastor and I were discussing the apostle Paul’s words in Ephesians 4:25 where he writes, “be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” In the course of the conversation, he made the comment, “Do you want to know how to rent a room to Satan?” A little stunned at his question, I responded, “How?” He said, “Let the sun go down on your anger with your spouse.”
Immediately, my mind flooded with instances in my almost fifteen years of marriage where I’ve done just that: given the Devil rented space in my home because I went to bed unwilling to reconcile with my bride. Oh, how pride leads us down foolish paths! The reasons and justifications for my rebellion were myriad. David Powlison in his book Good and Angry: Redeeming Anger, Irritation, Complaining, and Bitterness nails it when he writes that “BWA’s” constantly fill our mind in support for our disobedience. “BWA’s” stand for “but what about’s?” But what about their comment? But what about their disposition, tone, words, actions? But what about my needs? But what about…you get the idea. And yet, “BWA’s” could be translated or understood to be “reasons I do not what to obey the revealed Word of God.” Truly, it really is that simple.
The conversation with my pastor started because I referenced a short video of a sermon John Piper preached. The title of the video is “The Husband Must Initiate Reconciliation”. Reconciliation is the act of restoring a relationship back to a state of amiability, peace, and unity. With regards to marriage, who should lead out in reconciliation? In this 4 ½ minute video, Pastor John explains that responsibility of initiating reconciliation always falls to the husband.