*Well, the Southern Baptist Convention has arrived. It is 5:47am as I sit here in Dallas typing, drinking a cup of coffee, working on this post, and trying to knock out some reading before the day begins. As I do, and after spending Sunday evening and all day Monday here in Dallas, I do not feel the need to write something new but instead simply assert the same thing I asserted last week. Namely, we should think more carefully about how public we take all our disagreements.

As I rode the elevator down to the lobby of my hotel this morning, I checked Twitter. I know I shouldn’t have because I know all I’ll see is the latest talking point or the freshest example of denominational disagreement (I know, we are not technically a denomination). Twitter did not disappoint. Even at 5:30am, the back and forth amongst my SBC family is already in full swing.

Therefore, one more time, I’ll encourage anyone who reads this (and I’m under no illusions of grandeur as if the powers-that-be care or will ever know what I think) to consider more carefully where they hash out their disagreements. It simply is not wise to take every fight, over every issue, into the realm of social media and thus the watching world. This is true in the context of your local church and at the denominational level.

REPOST

This past week Beth Moore tweeted the following:

“Oh man, there’s bouta be a fight. I love this.”—Beth Moore.

Someone jokingly responded and asked if she was watching the NBA Finals or taking a shot at the Southern Baptist Convention. I’m pretty sure Mrs. Moore was talking about the NBA game on television at that point, but the joke hit home.

There is fighting afoot in the family.

And it seems everybody is watching the show.

Fighting is Fine, Sometimes

Now, I’m not one who thinks every scuffle is out of place. Sometimes, we need to fight. Or, at least we need to wrestle with things, engage in healthy debate, and call each other to account. This is true at the level of local churches and the larger SBC. The debates in reference to Paige Patterson, the abuse of women, and even to who is best suited to lead the convention forward, are not necessarily unhealthy discussions. The way in which we conduct the conversations and where these conversations take place (blogs, Twitter, Facebook) is perhaps something we need a committee to look into.

What saddens me at the moment, however, and what I think is grievous in the present era, is how our SBC family squabbles go viral and too often invite the gaze of those on the outside. It is clear that at present, people are gazing at our tribe at unprecedented levels. And they are looking in our direction precisely because of our problems. That, in my opinion, is one of the saddest realities of the day.

Talking with a Brother in Private instead of Public

A few weeks back, a brother in my local church wanted to meet and chat. I initially told him I’d be happy to meet him for coffee. The day of our meeting rolled around and he asked if we could meet at his house instead. His reasoning? He knew we had some potentially divisive things to discuss. He wanted to meet in private because “it is a grievous thing for unbelievers to see division in the people of God” (his words). I thought this was a wise and mature perspective and happily met him in his dining room. The conversation was emotional at times, and we disagreed about a few things, but we could state our positions and understandings with conviction, even passion, face to face and before the face of our God. The gaze of the unbelieving world wasn’t a concern.

Gregory of Nazianzus, the great Cappadocian theologian, exhorted his opponents to conduct their debates “within [their] own frontiers.” Why? Because Gregory knew our enemies (and sometimes even our so-called friends) “keep all too close a watch on us, and they would wish that the spark of our dissensions might become a conflagration; they kindle it, they fan it, by means of its own drought they raise it to the skies, and without our knowing what they are up to, they make it higher than those flames at Babylon which blazed all around.”

Gregory’s point is that the world keeps a close watch on how we engage with each other. And if our fighting is laid bare for all to see, if every disagreement in the SBC is published to the general public, then we give our enemies the chance to fan the flames and burn us down. Thus, we should be careful about inviting the watching world to gaze at every family fight.

Let the World Watch…When It Matters

Now, for the sake of clarity, we should acknowledge it is not always a bad thing when the world watches some of our family squabbles. This is particularly true when we fight over central concerns. If people in the family begin to drift on the issue of the good news of Jesus and his substitutionary atoning work, we will fight to the death. If churches in our denomination waver on the sinfulness of homosexuality, then we rise to wrestle for the truth. If those in our ranks abuse women or distort the divine design of complementarianism, then let’s invite the world to listen to our exchange of words. And when the giants among us falter publicly, then the public should see us holding our leaders accountable. When it comes to those matters (and others), we are not afraid of the gaze of the world as we fight for the truth in the present evil age.

However, I would wish that some of our fighting, some of our debating, some of our back and forth would take place away from the gaze of those outside our ranks. I think we should stay away from social media when we are dealing with less than ultimate things and keep our family fights “within our own frontiers.” I don’t think the world needs to watch as we debate the presidency of our convention. I do not believe we should take the Calvinism vs. non-Calvinism debate into the New York Times or Washington Post. Beyond those two issues, we could create a nice long list of things that are not worth hashing out before the eyes of the world.

What issues or debates or fights (whatever you want to call them) go public and what issues stay private, well that’s a matter of prudence. I haven’t worked out the application grid for such things. What I do know, however, is that we should think more carefully about how we conduct our family affairs, including our fights. And we need to think about these issues for the good of our churches, the future of our convention, the joy of all (the watching) peoples, and the glory of our King.