Obedience should be expected but I’m curious, are you more law-driven or grace-driven in your parenting? In Give Them The Grace the authors break down obedience into four categories, which is helpful

1. Initial obedience – learning to obey Dad’s and Mom’s voice
2. Social obedience – learning the social codes of society (please and thank you)
3. Civic obedience – learning to obey the law
4. Religious obedience – learning the religious practices of family and church

Religious obedience is probably the most difficult and dangerous form of obedience simply because it is so easily confused with conformity to God’s law. It’s the place where most Christian families go terribly wrong. Yes, we are commanded to teach the Word, prayer, and worship to our children, but their acquiescence to these things won’t save them. Only the righteous life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ saves them.

What’s the difference between human obedience and the righteousness of Jesus?

Human obedience

• Accessible to all who work
• Outward conformity to rules and law
• Renewed by self-effort
• Temporary and fluctuating
• Imperfect and incomplete
• Grinding slavery of works
• Produces fear and insecurity
• Results in pride and despair

Righteousness of Jesus 

• Accessible only to those who believe
• Record of Jesus’ obedience is bestowed upon all who believe
• Initiated and renewed by the Holy Spirit
•  Eternal and settled
• Perfect and complete
• Grateful obedience of faith
• Produces peace and godly confidence
• Results in rest and joy

Teach your children that they cannot obey God’s law and continue to do so. When they say they can’t love God and obey like God says in His Word, we are to agree with them and then tell them their need of a Savior.

You do not get results from the law, just devastation and discouragement. Everything that is not gospel is law. Wow, read that again! Everything that is not gospel is law.

Q. How are we right with God? A. Only by true faith in Jesus Christ.